[pouring it all]

it's been 6 daes since i came back to malaysia.

look. i've come back to release all my tension that have build up back in the o.c (other country). it's just that..i've probably expect too much. no. i've always been the person who have all this plan going on my head..and then when some of the plans doesn't turn as what i've expected, i will get depressed. well, that was a long time ago. over the years, i've been able to accept that not all our plans will be carried out. sumenye terletak pada Allah SWT. kan.

but today i cant help it. seriously i cant help but feeling down. nie bukan PMS ke ape. but i felt that i've been keeping it to myself too long.

teringat what my beloved write at her blog, "you will always be true to your blog" yeah right. not all beloved. not all. i've been story-telling my readers of my situation. not my feelings. coz if i would do that, it would became a very emo-rollercoaster-ride-blog. (no offence to mE)

it's not that i dont get what i want. but i've reached a point that i cant wait for that someone any longer. i want confirmation and such. but it's like a very hopeless thing to do. coz i know that he doesnt feel the same way i feel about him. so what do i feel about him?

tak payah citela. bukan nak kate ape. sia-sia je pun.see? how bad i am on expressing my feelings? useless.

2moro i will stat my journey back to the o.c, meet CDB and on monday,back to seeing the tak-paham-bahase guy in class. damn.

my BLAZe!!! is sooo on the way. my baby. duh.

for the hols and raya...tenkiu everyone yg da memeriahkan idup ku!
especially keQ-tenkiu sgalenye!
diel-dapat gak kite beraya bersame!
kande-sayang kamu!
liza-maintain ah.
syieda-slamat bergelar cikgu.
g-mir -eh a join hospital nnti eks!
aina-kamu cun ah
azie-saya confius sket ngan kamu
bah-kamu bwat lawak x bajet
pali-tenkiu layan adek ku
shera-sedih x dpt jumpe kamu
dnie-ngapain las minit kua
pika-sebbaek dpt ketemu kamu.

las but not least umie ayah along angah aki aliya. thanxxxxxx!!!!!!!!

selamat ari raya. maaf zahir batin. back to work.