+.::.+ manja +.::.+

taip-taip tajuk, teringat the hit malay series.
hit as everyone knows about it, even me,
but note that i didnt watch the show more than 2 episodes.

Manjalara.

huhu. somewhere in the name of the show brings me to another memory of sesat-sesat di jalan raya suatu masa dahulu.

anyway, this entry has nothing to do with the above crap.

It's about me.

bukan nak kate, saye seorang yang manje. (ewe!)
tapi i've been pampered and comfortable (maybe not that comfortable, but adapted) with the condition here in Medan.

I remembered the 1st thing I noticed when I first came here, they ( Indonesian people, i'm sorry, no offence here) lack standardization. Or perhaps they couldn't afford it. (hey, that's harsh!) But it's true.

And somewhat I've adjusted to that life, but not to their level of nonchalant-ness. But I noticed, most of the assignment I've done is like, 'melepas batuk di tangga'.
Lagi-lagi with tutorials, which often trigger my headache, like it did now.

Anyway, this morning my tutor was someone from the pharmacology department. Those of you who had read this blog since the 1st time I came here knew how thay are like. Superstrict.
Remember no drinking in class??

The situation now is we are all trying to put up a decent paperwork for the last block tutorial report which are done individually, with strict guidelines. And they gave us six damn days to do it. And to top it all, the recent tutorial on the new block, I had to present on Anatomy AND Histology part of the Respiratory System. I don't know what you guys are thinking, but let me put this straight, SANGAT BANYAK. Even though it is easy to understand both part of the presentation, untuk menyediakannye, memang makan mase the whole night.

I was up until morning to do the presentation chart, which limits each presenter with two flipcharts. Okay, no limitations, but jangan la membazir kertas tu kan. Even the MEU people tak kasi amik the flipcharts banyak-banyak. PELIT..! (kedekut)

So what happened?
I was the 1st presenter, haruslah Anat & Histo dulu, then the Physio part of the case, then barulah the Pathophysio part of the care, then the Pharmacology part....if this doesn't make sense to you, google the words.lol.

Tak bercakap lagi, suddenly the tutor hentam me cukup2. Said my writings are too small. Dem. And then she go on about keperibadian (?) and all those stuff on how to make a good presentation. I went totally blank and lost my words. Hilang my introduction.

I don't know why but I've been quite stressed up these few days. maybe it's the paperwork, maybe it's something else. And when she bombard me with all these MEANINGFUL tips, I nearly lose it. My eyes suddenly is filled with something liquid that are begging to fall on these delicate cheek skin of mine. (ewe!)

Aaaaaah. talk about being emo in the middle of the tutorial. well, I keep on talking on the whatever I should be talking about, and then sit to listen to others (which are also greatly criticized by the tutor) without understanding anything.

Lost.

Entahlah. Is anything about me being pampered and adapted to the situation has anything to do with my emotional state?

I don't know. hu. but it seems that I've been keeping a lot to myself and I feel like I could burst any moment.

No one to talk to?

More like no suitable person to talk to.

A friend of mine said to accept things as they are and be more appreciative towards all things.
I' m trying my friend.
I'm trying.

I guess that's it.

sedikit luahan hati since I can't do anything tonight.
not my paperwork, not the society work, not even study, not even eating, cant sleep as well, because I've just waken up from a 3 hour sleep after class.

My head throbbing like mad.

Nak balik. :(